Starting Over in a New City

by | Nov 2, 2020 | Lifestyle, Photography, Travel | 20 comments

Earlier this year, I wrote an article on how I was dealing with anxiety because I was in a bad place at the time. The little things got to me; I cried a lot, worried about things I couldn’t control, and I was barely eating well. My closest friend and I weren’t on good terms and it hurt me more than I thought it would. The whole period of quarantine made me feel like my life had no direction, and instead of talking to someone about my feelings, I bottled them up and cried whenever I reached a breaking point.

Thrilled to have my NYSC program in Lagos, I was glad to explore the state, meet amazing people, get posted to a good firm, and learn new skills. I thought living in Lagos would be as easy as other states I’ve lived in, but boy was I wrong! I had high hopes because I was a newbie in the state, so I couldn’t have predicted my experience.

During the first few months of my youth service, I had a hard time adjusting. I complained to everyone that cared to listen. It was so difficult for me to adapt to the lifestyle that on some days, I fought so hard to hold back tears. In those moments, I needed my mum the most. I felt like she would have all the answers. Everything in Lagos stressed me out, and the advice I kept getting was, “You’re an adult now, you have to face these challenges yourself.”

When the lockdown started, I assumed things would be better, but they weren’t. I wasn’t comfortable where I was. I missed my family, and even though I wasn’t living alone, it felt like I was. My moods were so bad sometimes that I had to take long walks in the evenings to feel better. As I rounded up my NYSC program, I became sure of one thing; I was done with Lagos State. I’d realized my anxiety wasn’t going away, so I decided it was time to leave and be in a more sane environment. With no plan of where to move to or how to go about all I wanted, I turned to God for guidance.

Lagos
rawpixel.com

I left Lagos a few days after I concluded my NYSC program, and the moment I got home, I felt better. Everything that made me anxious gradually disappeared. I went back to my board to reorganize my plans, and things began to make sense. The month of August was a period where I needed to review so many things and be in a good headspace to focus on what I want to do with my life, which I was able to do.

Before the month ended, I got an invite for a job interview. I was nervous and had doubts. I had to move again and this time, it was farther than the last place. For some reason, it felt like I was leaving my family behind again. I didn’t know if it was a good idea to travel across the country to start afresh because stepping out of my comfort zone isn’t something I like to do. Contrarily, I knew that leaving one’s comfort zone is the only way to gain the experience needed to face bigger challenges that are ahead, so I decided to face my fears and start over.

During the trip, I thought about how I’d adjust to the new environment, the cost of living, and the people I’ll become acquainted with. I was glad to be starting over in a city that is less stressful as compared to Lagos. I settled in quite well and started work immediately. So far, life here has been good, the people are nice, the weather is chilly, the food is okay, and work has been hectic.

The hardest part of the moving process was convincing myself that this was a good decision to make. I’ve lived in a few states, but this is the farthest from home that I’ve lived in. I feel so far from my siblings and friends, and I sometimes get lonely. But more than anything, I feel compelled to stretch and grow and see all that I can become. I cannot wait to explore the city, meet up with old friends, and enjoy each moment to the fullest. I’m excited to see what this place has to offer.

Lagos
theomojegede.com

Have you taken a huge decision that has paid off? I’d love to hear in the comment section!


Read other interesting articles here.

Originally published on Omo Jegede blog

20 Comments

  1. Olufunbi Feyijimi Saseyi

    🤗

    Reply
    • Lani

      Good read. I believe this just boosted my confidence. I’m about to take a decision on moving to a new city and starting all over by myself instead of getting comfortable with where I’m used to cos of family and friends, even though I believe moving will be the best decision for my growth but it’s still feels kinda scary. I wish you all the best on your journey.

      Reply
      • Solape

        Thank you so much for this, Lani. I’m glad your confidence was boosted, I too need that sometimes. Honestly, I don’t have many fun memories of my stay in Lagos and maybe that was God telling me something. Lol!
        I think you should do whatever you feel is best for you. You’d be more confident when you make decisions yourself. All you need is one step. You’ve got this. 😁💪🏽

        Reply
  2. Xibbs

    Nice one. You didn’t tell us where though. We want to leave Lagos too.

    Reply
    • Solape

      😅😅😅 Thank you so much. You’ll know soon. 🤗

      Reply
  3. Jay

    Ooh yeah… Good one
    Greater heights

    Reply
    • Solape

      My brother, my supporter! Thank you!!!

      Reply
  4. Seyi

    This is the heart to heart conversation that everyone relocating needs to have. And yes, I feel your articles is like me talking to you and boy do I enjoy our conversations. It’s good to have you back Sholape.

    Reply
    • Solape

      My mentor!!! Thank you for this, sir. I am highly honored. 😅

      Reply
  5. Damilare

    Hmmm good one

    Reply
    • Solape

      Thank you, boo! ❤️

      Reply
  6. Mayorchronicles

    Good read! I enjoyed every bit of it! Lagos is hectic but I don’t want to live in another city… I’ve been struggling with anxiety too, it’s so hard to deal with 🥺

    Reply
    • Solape

      Thank you, baby!!! I couldn’t deal with the stress anymore. It takes some level of strength to live in that kind of environment. 😅
      Anxiety is something a lot of people have, but the intensity differs. The only solution is to manage it well, and for me, that means turning to God. You’ll be fine, dear.

      Reply
  7. Damilola

    Awesome write-up! I think one of the drawbacks of adulthood is being forced to get out of your comfort zone. And while some may say it’s a great experience for young people, no one really talks about the stress and feeling of loneliness that comes with it, and as you said, when you bring it up they hit you with the “You’re an adult now, you have to face these challenges yourself.” I’m glad you are finding your feet now and thank you for sharing your experience. Again, Awesome write-up!

    Reply
    • Solape

      Thank you so much, Dami. We get better by the day! 🤗 🥰

      Reply
  8. Adetunji Thelma

    Totally relate able. It is not easy moving from city to another. No one talks about how it’s affect your mental health. I’m glad you’re in a sane environment now unlike Lagos ☺️☺️

    Reply
    • Solape

      Yes, I realized how important my health is and I believe that I made the right decision. Thank you so much, baby!

      Reply
  9. Nomad

    … finally got settled enough to go through your article. Been low key expectant even.

    And I must say, I am not disappointed.

    Very well structured with each paragraph leading to the next in a near seamless flow. Been a while I read a personal blog with the gentle lulling like this…. very nice.

    That being said, I’m sorry about the stress but I’m glad you experienced this. You are incredibly strong but it’s also smart to know your limits. The whole “expand yourself” has unwittingly led a lot of people past their breaking point… Very dangerous.

    It a very encouraging experience watching you grow. I wish you all the best in your new city. I wish that you make it your city. Who knows? Maybe you’ll show me around….. one of these days.

    Take care of yourself and try and get in enough food. Also, keep warm and good luck with work.

    Always wandering,
    Nomad.

    Reply
    • Solape

      WOW WOW WOW!!!
      Thank you so much. I guess God in a way wanted me to have that experience and come out of it stronger, which I believe I did. Thank you for this. 🥰

      Reply

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Hi

I’m Solape Jegede

I’m a lifestyle blogger who lives in Abuja, Nigeria. I love to write reviews on books, movies and share a bit of my life experiences. Here, you get to learn from these experiences, gain knowledge, and live with me.

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